20 Things Only a History Nerd Would Say

Here are 20 things you’ll hear a history buff say on a regular basis, that no one else cares about:

1. “We’re not going anywhere until I read the plaque in front of this monument”

2. “If this is a renaissance fair, why is everyone dressed for the high middle ages?”

3. “How many questions about the 1940’s can I ask this old person without annoying them?”

“Guys… I’ll meet up with you later…”


4. “Everyone seems ready to leave the museum, but we’ve only been here 6 hours.”

5. “I hope the ghosts are dressed in historically accurate attire in this ‘haunted’ castle.”

6. “Gender equality, racial equality, and class equality are not new concepts. Discussions about these are as old as civilization.”

7. “I wish we were still sending letters instead of texting.”

8. “No, Benjamin Franklin did not come up with up that 4,000-year-old proverb.”

“Stop f@*&ing asking me about the war.”


9. “Most people didn’t actually think the world was flat.”

10. “Names and dates aren’t as important as the historical context and significance of events.”

11. “But I still want to know all the names and dates.”

12. “In relation to the rest of the world, nothing in post-Columbian American history is all that old.”

13. “Antiques are not ‘junk’. They’re treasures.”

14. “Fantasy is not the same as medieval history.”

“Just me in my regular Saturday attire”


15. “The destruction of the Library of Alexandria still hurts to think about.”

16. “Modern self-help books are just repeating wisdom from 2,500 years ago.”

17. “Why is everyone making fun of the Civil War reenactment? These people are cool.”

18. “I need to stop metal-detecting in people’s lawns or they’ll call the police.”

19. “I wonder if I should bring my lute to the party tonight? Yes, yes I should.”

20. “Memes aren’t new, they’re just the latest incarnation of etching jokes into stone tavern walls.”

History Hustle